A consent violation charge isn’t something you want hanging around your neck; particularly a serious one.
So I’ll offer some advice on avoiding such a charge.
Step one would be
Don’t violate anyone’s consent
This is the most important thing and the no-no behind most charges of consent violation…and let’s break this down
A. Don’t do anything you were specifically told not to do
Easy enough, you’d think. She says “don’t slap my face” then don’t slap her face. If this part has you scratching your head, please hang up your flogger and rope. Kink is not for you. In fact, interacting with other people may just not be your thing.
B. Don’t do anything you weren’t given consent to do
This one requires slightly more thinking. Only do what you agreed to.
“Ya, but I’m not going to spell out every single thing that may happen” you say.
Well, neither do I usually but you’ll want to get all that uncertainty agreed to in general principle. You can bruise her bum-bum with whatever if she says so.
Sex is great (I like sex) but only if she agrees to it….for real.
If she’s dead set on you knocking her around however you’d like, get that in writing and err on the side of caution.
Basic stuff but you get the idea if your IQ > room temperature.
There’s essentially two mindsets
“I’m going to have fun but only within the agreed upon rules”
and
“I bet I can get away with all sorts of stuff”
I recommend option A highly if you’re looking to avoid a consent violation charge.
C. Slow down when she gives you the slow-down word and stop with the stop word.
Easy enough.
Most consent violation charges revolve around sex….guys being creepy. Not wearing a condom seems to be a creeper crowd favorite (assume condom use unless specifically stated otherwise.
Trying to renegotiate for sex mid-scene will eventually get you in trouble.
Agreeing to a spanking but then…..thinking she won’t mind a finger probe…
And so on and so fourth. Don’t be a creeper brah. It’ll get you busted. Sho nuff.
Now, part two of this equation is a little more controversial. It’s something that good tops know but won’t often say
2. Avoid drama queens
Avoid them like the plague. We exist in a world of nutty hyperbole, weaponized words and a higher per-capita ratio of alwaysvictims than you’ll find in an ingrown toenail survivor support group.
Excuse me if that sounds harsh but facts are facts.
I have seen posts on K&P claiming consent violations for an unwanted text and nasty inbox messages referred to as sexual assault.
What’s important here, is not the abject idiocy of the writers but how popular such crazy ideas are
There are LOTS of women in kink, who’ll decide that hurt feelings might have been the result of predatory behavior…..yea…and maybe, if they think about it…. you did something one time that maybe you shouldn’t have and that was maybe violating their consent. Suddenly, everyone you’ve ever had a problem with is their new bff and you can guess how it goes from there.
This isn’t speculation. Spend two months on fet and you’ll witness this.
On point 2, thinking with your dick is also usually the source of the problem.
Just like women often describe their “hunches” before things go wrong with a creep, so too can most men who’ve been wrongly smeared, remember a point where they knew they were dealing with the most special of all special snowflakes.
Four of her 9 posts describe abuse by four different guys. She hopes you’re “not like the rest”
….that type
I’ve got limited sympathy for you pal. Playing Captain SAAAAAAAVEAHOOO is usually a creepy way to get down a girl’s pants anyway.
“But that ass and those….”
The neurosis is right in front of you. Just adjust your eyes twenty degrees up.
Don’t take my advice here and it’s a matter of time but, like I said, those who find that kind of thing alluring usually have their own problems
So there you are. A simpleton’s guide to avoiding a consent violation charge
You’re welcome