It really bothers me when Men keep asking me why i’m unowned. It’s a sore spot 🙁 No decent female wants to be unowned. Living each day without a Master to direct me is not something i want for myself. It’s something i’m desperately trying to fix.
That said, meeting Men is hard. Not because there’s a shortage of qualified Masters out there, but because i’ve been taught from a young age that Men are predators, and that i have to protect myself and my “virtue” from them. I grew up being told that all Men outside of those approved of by my parents are essentially evil and just want to hurt girls like me. And though i have no problem with a Man hurting me if it pleases Him (or will help me grow as His property) i don’t want to end up like a girl in an episode of CSI (ie brutally murdered after a first meet up). As an adult i know that likely won’t happen, and that most Men are good Men, but needless to say, i have a few trust issues when it comes to meeting strangers.
I’m constantly assuming that the Men are speak to are not who they say they are. Whenever i read a profile that seems too good to be true (ie the Man believes in Male Supremacy, objectifies women, wants a slave/little girl/cumdump/etc to obey His every word and worship Him as a Superior being) i always assume the Man is lying. But then when i read a profile or get a message that doesn’t reflect what i’m looking for (ie a Man will ask my permission to talk to me, or will say “I believe all people are equal but would love to own you’) i find myself uninterested. It’s a vicious, horrible cycle of thinking “if it seems too good to be true it probably is” to “why can’t i just find a Man who likes to take charge of women and genuinely sees me as the inferior female i know myself to be?”
Honestly it’s just really hard to be afraid of the people whose attention you want the most. Showing respect to Men is easy, worshipping and honouring them online is fun, but arranging to meet a Man in person for the first time? It’s absolutely terrifying. Not only am i afraid of Him being one of the few “monsters” out there and murdering me on the spot (i’m not afraid of being raped or abused, in fact i want those things to happen, but i’d like to live a long life), but i’m also afraid of whether or not i’ll be good enough to please Him.
Hopefully this journal entry isn’t too long or boring. Any advice is always welcomed and appreciated, especially from Men who carry more wisdom and knowledge than i could ever hope to.
xo
